Sunday, July 4, 2010

Palmerston North

On Friday me and my Papa and my big brother and his rugby team went to McDonald’s to eat.

My Papa said “who need’s to go to the toilet?”. The team went to the toilet and when they came back from the toilet my papa said to everyone “hop in the van let’s go now".

It was a long drive to Palmerston North. The team stayed at a motel. We stayed for four day’s. They lost the finals to Bay of Plenty.

After all game’s we went to have fish and chip’s because it was a Friday because it was Lent time. We went back to the motel and we had a meeting in the boy’s room. After that they all went to sleep at 9.00 o‘clock.

1 comment:

Mrs Laing said...

After seeing your smiling face in all your movies on the blog, it is wonderful to see your writing too!

Recounts are pieces of writing that tell us, the audience, about something that has happened in the past. You've let us know about your trip to Palmerston North and put what happened in order by using words that link your experiences like "On Friday", "when" and "after". As a reader (and your audience), I would love to see you adding interest to your writing by telling us more about how you felt about things and by adding some more descriptive language. When you do that, your writing becomes more entertaining, just like your movies :)